Monday, March 14, 2005
The Chain Letter that Saved the World
This post is inspired by Hyelbaine. Well, just creating the post, not the content though
I hate chain letters and have never, or perhaps very rarely, forwarded them as I think they're a load of crap -- but this one is really worthwhile and expresses EXACTLY what I think about chain letters. I did not write, so I don't take any credit for it. If you know who wrote it, please let me know.
The Best Chain Letter Ever
Hello, my name is Candy and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!"
What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
I hate chain letters and have never, or perhaps very rarely, forwarded them as I think they're a load of crap -- but this one is really worthwhile and expresses EXACTLY what I think about chain letters. I did not write, so I don't take any credit for it. If you know who wrote it, please let me know.
The Best Chain Letter Ever
Hello, my name is Candy and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!"
What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
BJ 4:54 PM